You or I against Us, who is the boss in a relationship?
This question goes unasked in almost every relationship that exists. While most participants tend to act it, many just say it out plainly. I am the man, so I make the decisions, it’s not as simple as that.
Inasmuch as it is a good practice to define your relationship and the boundaries, you should really consider if your relationship needs a boss. We should not always forget what a boss does or who a boss is, or how powerful a boss usually think he is. A relationship is an agreement between two people, adults who want to be together. But you or I may be the only people who think so, the person sitting beside you might disagree.
Who is really the boss in this bus?
The plain fact here is there is not supposed to be a boss in an agreement involving emotions. If this confused you, I mean, there should not be a boss in a relationship, how hard is that for adults to understand? When it comes to expressing emotions, the last thing you want is someone acting bossy or as the commander. For some people, it is in their veins. They assume they own you and they can toggle you anywhere they like all because you have decided to put down your guards for them. It is commonly seen in men because of the superstition they have grown to believe that a man is the head of a woman. Well, all women have their heads dangling on their heads too.
When two come together to institute something involving feelings that will stand, forever or for now, they ought to assume equal responsibilities to make it work. Assuming a bossy role sometimes gives you unnecessary loads to carry. It is wise to invest emotions into a connection than to invest authority. This is a typical post ladies would show to their boyfriends or husbands who have been acting as if they are running a company. No relationship fits the description of a company, it is what it is.
You, I or us in your relationship. Choose now!
This is the first step in having a good relationship. Nobody is allowed to be self-centered in a relationship intended to see the breaking of the moon every night. A connection where the goals are beyond just having fun should have selflessness as its theme. But this is where the majority of people get it wrong. You’ll start hearing phrases like “He’ll have to love me for who I am”, “She’ll have to accept my terms”, etc. Why can’t you just change from whom you are for the sake of your relationship? You should understand what your other half is going through to accept you instead of focusing on remaining who you were before you met him or her. It takes a lot of commitment to see this very important part of relationships. The kind of commitment that will make you drop the self-obsession. Before you hit the accelerator, you should pause for a while. Basically on the accepting of being selfless and the readiness to show it too. Your relationship should be one that considered the ‘us’ status and not the ‘I’ or anything else. Not forgetting that there can be ‘they’ too. If you cannot handle a relationship where you submit your ego and be loose on the self-part, then you don’t deserve to be loved. You don’t tell people to love you for who you are, you let go of who you are for who you love.
In conclusion, a good relationship will thrive only if the participants are selfless. Selflessness will give the chance for unconditional love if there is anything like that. You have to see your partner as an integral part of you. Whenever you say ‘I’, it will include him or her, and whenever you say ‘you’ referring to your partner, it will include you. Only by doing this will you see a million reasons to change who you are for those who love you and want to love you more.